Tag Archives: first world problems

I’m in love with my iPhone, because it’s a GENIUS

I get a little weak in the knees when I see a sign that says “please turn off cellular device”. How could they casually put that there? Implying it to be such a simple request. For some it might not phase them, they must not be in love with their iPhone, like I am.

I joke that my iPhone has an app that keeps my heart beating, so I can never turn it off or be apart from it. To imply that I should just turn it off, well they just don’t understand that could end my life.

It’s not called a smartphone for nothing. Half my brain is stored on that perfect device. My calendar, my to do list, my grocery list, my people’s phone numbers, my precious social media, everything! I don’t just turn it off. That is disrespectful to what it does for me.

I run my family’s activities from my iPhone, I run my business from my iPhone, I write my blog from my iPhone, I text my husband from the other room from my iPhone. The abilities to help my life are almost endless. It wakes me up in the morning to whatever sound or song I want. It tells me what I am doing next, it has my Starbucks app for crying out loud!

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I heart your Starbucks, for ever and ever.

It’s camera is the only way I would have any photographic evidence of my children’s childhood. I would never remember to carry a separate camera with me, but I can pull out my iPhone and snap a precious picture in two seconds. It’s not just smart, it is pure genius. I’m going to call it my genius phone. That seems more appropriate.

I check my bank balance and the weather all at the touch of my fingers. All without leaving my bed.

I can kik with the teenagers and scroll Pinterest like a freaking pro. And an Etsy app! I die of happiness. Did I mention I can do all this IN BED! (Do you see a theme here, unfortunately sometimes I spend a lot of time in bed). My husband is proud of my iPhone abilities, I texted him from bed to tell him what a great job he was doing with all the homework, and this was his reply:

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Thanks babe, I’m glad you recognize my talents!

There’s more. My amazon app. For real. This is serious. No matter where I am or what time of day or night it is, if I think of something I need/want (blurred line) and I just open my amazon app and search for it and add it to my cart. If someone is talking about a book that is good, I just search and add, and then I can go back and buy it if I want. If it’s not on amazon you don’t need it, right?

Prefect genius iPhone, sometimes you are accused of not being perfect. This could be true. Maybe perfection is too much pressure. Us iPhone users have been spoiled by your genius and have high expectations. I’m so sorry if the pressure is too much for you sometimes. We need to remember that any problems we have with our iPhones are first world problems, not really problems at all. Which is why everyone should watch this hilarious SNL skit on, which, you can do from your phone. If you need a good laugh, that is what the Vimeo app (or of course YouTube) is for:

If you need a good cry, watch the Titanic on Netflix. (I would never do this, I don’t watch sad movies, because I’m HSP).

Oh, you think we need to use our phones less, have more personal interaction? Of course. Must. Use. Discretion. I’ve read the blogs and articles urging us obsessive smartphone users to be more hands free and more hands on with our kids. That is the summary of the long article berating moms who are on their phone, which is ironic because whatever mother who wrote the article saying kids shouldn’t see you work on your phone or computer, does she have full-time child care? Yes, of course I play games with my kids, but I pull my phone out to take a picture:

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Who wouldn’t want to play UNO with that lovey dovey preciousness in the morning in our PJ’s?

So how does it help my parenting? I use my flashlight app to check the kids throats for strep and to check on them in the night and to look for their lost blankets under the bed. I use the clock/stopwatch app to time their math. My calendar tells me what time their ballet is because I actually forget the time every single week. We check the weather app to see what to wear each day (this is very important in Dallas). Have I mentioned the camera! And yes, occasionally they watch a PBS show on the PBS app. See, you can use your iPhone to help you be a good parent too.

I use my handy level app to hang pictures on the wall (after they have been sitting on the floor for over a year, small detail). You can use it as a remote, as a compass, as a tracking device (that is a whole other story).

My respects to Apple and the inventors of apps everywhere. I know they just wanted to make millions. But they deserve it, because they made my life a million times easier. And I needed something, one thing, to be easy.

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