Tag Archives: you lost me at hello

It’s cool, I workout

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I workout you know. Well, as of today. Never mind that I can still taste the chocolate chip cookie that I ate on my way out the door while I step on the treadmill. I am on a treadmill and my feet are moving. And get this, I am in a gym, a real gym, with really fit people.

I like fit people. They work hard to be fit. They don’t intimidate me, they motivate me. I like watching them run and sweat, maybe one day I will run like the fit people at the gym.

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I haven’t been a member of a gym in about 7 or 8 years. A lot has happened since then. I did work out in that time period, just not in a gym. So this idea came about when Jake and I were discussing how bad my lupus was last week and what was I doing differently this summer when I was feeling better. I was working out, mainly walking and doing yoga. So I immediately made a plan to push through the pain and begin to put one foot in front of the other.

First step, join the gym. Second step, put on my super duper bright gym shoes.

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Sometimes people stop and say to me “cool shoes”. And I say “thanks” and smile. But I’m really thinking, “did they mean to say cool shoes, or were they so overwhelmed by how bright they are, they were startled and that’s all they could come up with?” Sometimes I reply, “thanks, they make me run faster” and then watch them look me up and down seemingly a little confused because I clearly don’t run.

Enough about my ridiculously bright shoes, their brightness does not help me at all. But I will tell you what does. My t-shirt. As I was reluctantly getting ready for the gym I was losing motivation. So I thought I will at least get dressed. Luckily, my Mr. Rodgers shirt was on top of the pile.

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And for some reason I think it’s really funny, which brightens my mood, and tonight helped get me out the door to the gym. Also, the fact that I told Jachin I didn’t want to go and he said I had too. He’s a real meanie.

So I’m finished on the treadmill. I have enough OCD in me that I have to stop on an even number. Here’s to you mom:

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I know it’s not much, but it’s a start. I’m trying to retrain my body to find the will to live, not kill myself on my first workout. It’s baby steps. (Please tell me you picture Bill Murray’s face every time you hear the words “baby steps”). I did a few weight machines and I think I felt one single bead of sweat trying to break through, so I called it good.

Mission accomplished. Well, not the entire mission, just one barely workout.

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That is all.

Nothing Plus Everything

A few years ago I half-jokingly said to Jachin that I was going to write a book titled “You Lost Me At Hello” detailing my struggles with adult ADD. I briefly thought the idea was brilliant until I realized that my target audience of adults with ADD don’t really read books. (We prefer short stories, or essays, or anything SUMMARIZED!).

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So sad how quickly my brain tells my brain that my brilliant idea was not brilliant.

A few years later we were laughing about my non-existent book again and I asked him to reserve me a blog with that title. It was taken! I was so mad at whoever took my blog title and was not even using it.

A year or so after that I was ready to write. So here I am. Thank you so much for all your well wishes and support. It has been so encouraging.

But now I have to be honest about something. Today I am suffering from major brain overload and my brain has almost shut down entirely. This happens.

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So my post tonight is about nothing.

Because everything is running through my brain, really and truly everything. So nothing gets done.

Here is something to help you understand:

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Ahh! Bananas! That reminds me I have to do something about dinner. I always forget that comes every day.

The dryer just buzzed. Jachin just walked in. Morgan wants to know what’s for dinner. Homework. Must go.

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The end.